Saturday, May 13, 2006
the path 2 depression
dunno ...i miss her loadxxx...@ least 4 tt time bahx...den she lik tired...den i woke her up @ 7 30 again...den we keep smsing lolx...mi hp bill sure v high this month liaox...courtesy 2 overuse of sms...
i dun even noe wad wrong i've done...mi mum juz say dun go out this 2 days den i say 2molo needa study 4 exam la...she lik dun let...bt i suppose if she hpy 2molo she will let mi go de...if she doesn't...i nt goin 2 study even a single letter out of tt 2 books lolx...except 4 the cover page n the USEFUL exam tips...they r so USEFUL tt i muz thx the publisher...if i pass mi mid yr...
den it's lik i go online ...mi com lag den needa chng new skin again due 2 the loss of html codes...dunno hw 2 say...bt this com is nt gd lolx...i goin 2 chng the CPU quite soon bahx...
den it's lik whole day go so FAST lolx...i dun even noe wad i'm doin...keep watching naruto ...hahaha...den it's lik so fun...ROCK LEE rox...he's gd lolx actually...
hmm...bt den Gaara...i finally lik him ...he's fighting style so cool...his 2 feet dun even needa move n he can do devastating moves n his defensive barrier real damn strong lolx...
den it's lik i dunno hw 2 say...time flies...i search 4 naruto thingy den 4 smth lerx...den i quickly vaccuum the floor den bath den went out...i rush 2 the MRT station...mi runnning nose gt more n more serious lolx...
butterflies flies wildly in mi stomach...i thought i would b late...den she sms mi n tell mi 2 sms her 2 inform her when the MRT passes Khatib...den when i did...she say she will b late a LIL bit...i wait n wait...patiently ...until those fluid in mi nose keep flowing out...i pray hard tt she would come asap...
when i saw smone the figure n hair of beanna...i almost thought she n mi laopo came n wanna run towards em...when i realise tt it's nt...haiz...in the end...i waited 4 37 min...it's even more den mi travelling time...pissed off...hu won't...bt i dun wan her 2 b unhpy thru out the whole day...so i try 2 force out a smile...i thought they would c thru....(mi acting nt gd)lucky noone did...cuz noone understand mi well enough or wad lolx...hahaha...bt kelvin,leslie,crabbie or corrine might b able 2 tell lolx...cuz they 2 close 2 mi lerx...
den it's lik in the baddest of mi mood...still muz call smone younger den mi jie jie...though it's no big deal actually ...bt den it's lik i oso dun care bahx...lik it will pierce mi skin 2 call her tt...n she supports mi idea...Benson is a coward!!!
den it's lik mi n dear laopo... ... ... we went 2 Lot 1 n ate @ LJS...thx ...if nt i really dunno wad will happen 2 mi thru out the whole nite...as b4 evrything tt happened...i miss her a lot @ hm...she v filial lolx...went 2 ming shuang's hse 2 cook 4 her mum 2 eat...btw...4gt ...HAPPY MOTHERS DAY evry one...i mean evry woman n girl hu aren't les or nuns...
den i was lik so cold lolx...den mi laopo cover mi lolx...keep mi warm...den she's lik so cold...i'm v touched...hahaha...bt den ...when i cover her...i dunno y...she didn't gt warmer ...instead,she gets colder n colder...n i noe frm tt point tt the hug didn't help @ all...hugs r meant 2 provide warmth n security de...if smone can't feel the hug frm u ...tt smone has no feeling 4 u ...cuz even if it's frenz 2 frenz...there is still warmth if they have feeling of hug...dunno hw 2 define...2 complicated...haiz...
den it's lik so early gt hm lolx...miss her a lot bahx...bt when i reach hm...tragics juz happen ...bt i muz thx mi mum 4 being hpy lolx...she didn't scold mi @ all...if nt i really will unleash mi other self 2dae lolx...i dunno wad will happen 2 mi wall...tt time skool wall gt one scratch liaox...
i chnged the title...frm a hpy day 2 the path 2wards depression...let mi share wif u a stry...mi ah yee...(mum's sis) was always top in class...resulting in her gt ting boastful...den one yr she was nt nominated as the class chairperson...as a result...she suffer frm mental illness... after tt...she keep unleashing herself thru out the yrs ...bt den she was cured again n again of cuz...
den on the yr when Jordan was born...tragic happens...her husband have 2 help her wif her company work(they opens a interior design company) n take care of her after work...n have 2 take care of her baby ,Jordan...one day...mi ah yee's after pregnant depression comes wif her mental illness...nt oni unleashing her..bt even more 2 the extreme de...den it's lik mi uncle,her husband suffer depression due 2 all the stress these few weeks n tt day he dunno wad happen 2 her wife...both berserk n hold onto a knife each...
i really dun wish 2 b the second uncle...2 gt depression lik him n go berserk...cuz i gt 2 mental illness currently...so if depression is added 2 it...i will really collapse n faint... bt den when i went hm...i dunno wad happen...i found pics n ask mi laopo 2 receive em...den it's lik a bit spamming lik tt den she sound angry liaox...i juz wanna enquire her more bout those den she lik tt ...
she broken mi heart into 2 ... n it's lik nt 2 hide the fact,we keep quarreling 4 days...den it's lik i dunno wad shud i do... 14 May is comin...the day 2 commemorate the day we 1s met...i dun sppose we can carry on if things were nt solved after twelve lolx...haiz...den it's lik i dunno lahx...
wad shud i do???haiz...can heaven send a messenger 2 mi dream n tell mi wad shud i do????hmm...i try 2 lie on the bed n close mi eyes nw...tell mi the solution n i will work on it 2molo...plz...4 once...help mi solve mi marriage...i dun wan her 2 gt influence by her bloodline ...
i miss u ...wish 2 study wif u 2molo...aiishiteryyu
plying basketball on 10:20 PM
