well , didn't post for quite a few days , anw , it's all the same , wed n thursday , Basic Theory Lesson 1.02 and Practice , haix , hope the Basic Theory Test can pass ..

n I cnt rly rmb whad happened the past few days , except tt my bball has it's ups n downs , gt some matches miss alot bt there r also some matches where I'm lights out , bt overall I'm still doing fine I guess .. Ohya , n i throw away one of the best shoe I've owned cause there is a hole at the bottom alrdy n my mum does not let me keep it

My poor T Mac 6 , I will miss u

~Saturday

went to teach zhi hui n zhi sian some bball stuffs b4 I attend the cell grp meeting .. tt's my first ever cell grp meeting , I've been to services in various churches alrdy , bt nv a cell grp meeting , so tt's my first , n all I can say is that it has a v high spiritual feeling , lik u cn rly feel the ambience , some sort of lik my dad's temple , except tt it's christian ..

den go ply bball wif teng hui n jonas at goodview and was off form until the last match where i consecutively burned chee fong in the face with my lightning jumpers ,

~Sunday

^The first group to arrive at the airport

^The entire group which went to send farewell to Jin Cheng

Amber ask us to go to send Jin Cheng to airport and she nv come , lol , n stupid thing is I've never even speak a sentence to this girl b4 , n i go to bid farewell to her , bt tt's ok with me la , wah , got one girl called Sarah nv wear specs , look v nice sia .. lol

hmm ... anw , saw the air hostress also , rly all v nice figure sia , lik at least is skinny one

^Douglas is a vampire !!

^The Marines , proud n strong

den go to Church service , super tired , bt couldn't slp , den it's lik after tt got one game called battle of the Sea , den I'm the one holding to the map(lik a useless king on a chess who cannot kill anyone , only ability is have the ultimate ans to the final treasure ..

so i go ard telling ppl my role is spy so i'm lik noone catch me even if they c me , bt I always camp so no ppl find me also .. dn i go take train wif Paul , Jia Qi , Leon , Lasean and my best buddy in the church , Elvis ..

after go home , i straightaway go to ply bball lerhx , dn halfway saw my ex , yee teng .. haix ... lol .. n Damien crack he's ankle bone if i not wrong ... wow ..

sometimes , I'm thinking whether I've made the right decision on christmas eve , to go to watch drama wif Melvin , if I had bear wif the loneliness , I could have been less troubled now , I got to strike a balance , sometimes , it stresses me .

I try to prove to myself tt all religions are either co exist together or dun exist at all , bt there is no prove tt either is a fact .. haix , how I wish I can believe in both , nt tt I wanna ask for more protection or whad , I just wanna still b frens with the cell grp members and still b able to lead the life I've been thru the last 18 yrs .. well , if my dad finds out I go to church , I can't believe whad will happen to me , if the outside world finds out , worst case , my dad will have a bad stain ...

if I had nvr gone for the church drama , I could have spent more time on my bball , my team , waste less money on transport , n I do not have to worry bout offerings n building funds and afraid of seeing whad my frens said , satan's evil form , most imptly , i do not have to make myself look lik a two headed lonewolf , a christian at church n wif melvin , a buddhist/taoist in front of my best friends and parents

but if I had nv gone for the church drama , I dunno hw long it would have been to gt to changi airport again , n gt a wider social circle , I wun b able to meet ppl like Elvis , Sandrea , Joshua , Kai Xiang , Lasean , Sarah , JiaQi , Leon , Paul

nv ever

noone will understand whad I'm going thru I guess , it's a stress , especially when I go for service all tt n hear the songs , it's not jux lik a betrayer to my former religion , or my other religion , bt most imptly , it's a betrayal to my dad , who grooms me , who reproduce me , who gave me my basic needs and also fulfil my wants , who is my role model . It is basically , just so stress , n when I have to pray , it made me felt so guilty to my dad , it's lik i've made a grave mistake ..

when Jia Qi told me off in the sms , I knw she didn't mean it , she didn't wan to scold me or whad , n i understand tt she jux wan me to b more faithful to the GoD , which to her , is a smarter choice , I nt sure if she will listen to my situation or tell me tt it's an excuse or whad .. I dunno how any of my cell grp members will react ..